Forgiveness, How do I Forgive?

Last night I was doing my affirmations and I got to the one on forgiveness (Thank you Divine for the forgiveness that I’ve had and the forgiveness that I continue to experience.) and I started thinking about forgiveness and how much easier it is for me to forgive now. That got me to thinking HOW did I learn to Forgive?

I thought about how I had gotten irritated with Julian, my husband, in the kitchen during the evening, but I couldn’t remember what it had been about. I’ve been on my spiritual path for a very long time and the honest truth as to why I have is because I was one very unhappy person. I had anger that I had built up and nurtured for years. Frankly I had a lot to be angry about. In the not so distant past me getting upset with Julian could have escalated into a big blow out with me feeling unloved, unwanted and not good enough.

These were my childhood issues and the slightest thing not going the way I wanted would trigger them.

I’ve had years of training, courses, therapies and the most effective tools I have found have been NLP (this includes the Native American healing techniques that are in my opinion NLP), Ho’oponopono and the teachings of Abraham (brought to us by Jerry and Esther Hicks).

Abraham teaches to find better feeling thoughts. This is a concept that took me at least a year to master. It would probably take the average person a fraction of that time. It’s not that the concept is difficult or that I needed a book called ‘How To Find Better Feeling Thoughts For Dummies’, it’s just that I was more used to feeling a bad feeling thought and choosing a better feeling thought was not normal to me.

Abraham also teaches choosing to feel good rather than being right. I can totally understand how choosing to to be right played a huge role in me needing to forgive. It has been easier for me to say ‘oh that person did that thing I have every right to feel bad’. Also my natural state of being was that of feeling bad about something. Because the Law of Attraction works so well, I just kept getting opportunity after opportunity to feel bad.

On the last Abraham Cruise I went on I deeply connected with Jules, an amazingly loving and insightful man. He had been doing Ho’oponopono for over a year and I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His wisdom and ability to soothe me was awesome and during one of our encounters he reminded me of the Abraham concept of how our perception and interpretation of something that has happened is what causes us pain, it’s not the actual event.

From Source’s perspective when Julian goes shopping and forgets the one item I really want it means I wasn’t aligned with it. How I feel about him forgetting is up to me. In the past it would have been common place for me to have it mean that on some level that I wasn’t good enough. I would tell myself that if I was good enough I would have the blueberries he forgot.

What I was dealing with from my past was much more severe in my mind than my husband forgetting something that I really wanted, but in the clarity of seeing things from a Source perspective I was able to revisit my past and change the meaning of the things that hurt me the most.

I was able to forgive people, places and things for there was nothing left to forgive. The thing about holding on to accusations is that you make yourself right and the other person wrong. Making someone wrong and at fault immediately gives them power over you and makes you the victim. You are in effect saying ‘That person has the power to hurt me any time they want’. Then every time you think of that ‘hurtful’ incident you are making the other person stronger again and making yourself weaker. It’s a really bad cycle to be in.

As difficult as it may be when things happen that you don’t like the best thing to do is to take a step back and ask yourself what where the kind of thoughts and feelings you were having that allowed that situation to take place. Taking that step puts you in control, it gives you your power back. It allows you to feel good about yourself.

Holding anger, pain or resentment towards someone or something perpetuates that incident and holds you in a place of not feeling good. It is giving your power to feel good away. Choose to feel good rather than be right. Remember that everything from Source perspective just ‘IS’, it’s neither good or bad. It just is. We are the ones that add value and meaning to what transpires in our life. Knowing this, go back and decide on a different meaning, a meaning that is either void of emotion or that makes you feel good.

Also remember that whatever happens in life, regardless of how you feel about it, you were guided there on your way to what’s waiting for you in your Vibrational Escrow!

You are beautiful and loved!

I love you.

Thank you.

With Love and Appreciation,
Angela Bear
www.angelabear.com